experts postulate that each heart in each chest has a predetermined, unknowable number of beats in its lifetime. theses same experts suggest that a human heart can expect about 2.21 billion heartbeats.
i wonder if each soul has a similar predetermined, unknowable number of beats in its lifetime, too. and i wonder what the heartbeat of the soul truly is. is it a calculation of questions asked and loves loved? perhaps with a certain number of “i don’t know”‘s and silent tears added into the formula.
is it possible that the number of beats of the soul is stretched and lengthened by kairos conversations, sunsets, laughter and shared table? is it possible that it is fed with deep and difficult truth in safe spaces, hugs, well timed emails, high fives and poetry? and is it possible that the mystery of the soul can push the boundaries of a muscle given an unknown predetermined number of heartbeats in a life beyond what is expected because it has stretched to let in and share a little more love?
i think so.
so experts may postulate all they like, and attempt to determine the length of a life based on the number of times my heart beats in my chest–sometimes faster, sometimes slower–but my soul continues to stretch to let a little more love in, and a little more love out for these precious soul-companions also on this journey.
did i not mention? i am so glad we are walking this way together.
i love love. i love letters. and i love love-letters. this love-letter is for all of my friend-companions. as i prepare to leave houston in a few weeks i feel the edges of my soul (and heart, figurative and literal) respond to this change. with sadness, excited anticipation, a bit of fear of the unknown and loss of shared space and city with some of these friend-companions. my life is full of beautiful souls who are wonderful to allow me to call them friend. thank you for stretching my soul, expanding and improving my life, and loving me. i love you each profoundly, truly and uniquely for your You-ness. thank you for letting me be my Me-ness. let us journey onward, together, in new ways. this, too.