re-learning how to be direct

isn’t irony delicious?

having spent the last three years functioning as a direct person in a very indirect culture i was under the assumption that–while i learned to function and communicate indirectly–my default communication style was still direct. this morning i learned that i was very incorrect.

i was the solo interviewee in a group of seven interviewers, i felt comfortable and confident in who i am, my purpose for being there and the subject matter. the  questions were posed and i answered, albeit with a bit of couching, in what i thought was fairly direct. the answer wasn’t clipped, and i hesitated while searching for words, but felt the answers were fairly straight forward.

this didn’t seem to be the case.

the advice, post interview, was to be more succinct and forceful. to be more decisive. to show “you can be in charge.”

so it seems i adopted and absorbed a bit more karimajong culture than i had originally thought or intended when it comes to communication. before the next round (january) one of my goals is going to be working on becoming a woman of powerful yet few words.post-meeting i was pondering why i seem to talk so much more than i used to–and have come to the conclusion that being drawn into a story-telling culture has influenced how i communicate. its with a lot more words, and a lot more repeating (that part is due to language barriers more than story-telling).

i’ve got some work to do.

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “re-learning how to be direct

  1. I am reading these with relish (sadly not a literal delicious zucchini relish) with eyes toward our own re-entry (although I try not to count down, and try to be here in the moment – not always a gift of mine in trying situations). Is this MCC re-entry stuff or Thera-being-super-awesome-and-organizing-personal-re-entry-stuff? Thanks for your thoughts, rants and insights. I think you’re swell.

    • zucchini relish…i’m going to have to give that a go! this particular post is from an interview i had with some clergy-folk regarding my ordination. and actually all of my posts are really just me reacting to life. HOWEVER i did just come from an mcc re-entry retreat (i wasn’t going to go to one, but it was a really good decision to do so. so if you’re hesitating to do one when you return–go for it! maybe wit more than 3 weeks though. it was helpful but think at least a month back in north america probably is “better”) i’m planning on reflecting a bit more on the actual retreat sometime this week or early next, for what that’s worth. oh, and so you know: i think you’re swell, too!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s