c25k: not running edition

were you to be operating under the assumption that the lack of running posts has been because i haven’t been running, you would be correct. were you, however, to be operating under the assumption that there hasn’t been running because of laziness or lack of will you would be incorrect.

every part of me wants to hit the road and run. every day i’ve wanted to run. my body is practically begging me to run.
and yet i continue to not go.
i’m plying my self with various levels and amounts of yoga.
(seriously, i’ve probably out yoga’d all of you combined in the past week and a half. unless of course you’re a yogi… then you could probably give me a run for my money. maybe.)

“so, thera, if you WANT to run, why aren’t you?”

i’m so very glad you asked.

i haven’t been running since i’ve been back in kotido because i’ve decided that this is a “last” i have total control over. if i don’t run again in kotido i don’t have to be aware that it is the “last” of something. it will not be a conscious “last” decision. unlike most of the choices and decisions i’m making every day of this last week in kotido.

as a matter of fact, i decided to sit here and write this blog post rather than go for a run this evening. and then i’m going to change my clothes and do an hour and a half of hatha yoga. which isn’t quite running, but it is difficult and makes me feel healthy. and then i’ll sit in meditation tonight before i go to bed and hope that it keeps me almost as healthy has taking a nice long run would.

this isn’t to say that i’m not going to run again in kotido. i hope that i do, actually.
i suspect that i will only go once this week. so that i’m not wondering “IS this the last time i’ll run in kotido?” but will have a firm, “this is my last run in kotido” train of thought which seems a lot more sane for me right now.

granted, i’m kind of insane right now so perhaps i’m not in the best place to name what is and is not sane. ah well.

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