live from brackenhurst retreat center, its the mcc/emm east-africa-retreat-talent-show: snarky version
8:02p.m. for the past half hour we have been engaged in a rousing group-quiz. division has been created between the countries of east africa by pitting them against one another to win points. how very mennonite!
8:08p.m. first up with real talent are the children from the tanzania team doing a puppet show…singing old mcdonald had a farm.
8:09p.m. is it me? or does that pig looked stoned?
8:10p.m. a no show. i guess we can forgive him, because its a child.
another child takes his place…approximately 4 year old girl banging a drum. that was intense.
8:12p.m. the pressure was totally on me just now. martha is roving with a bag of candies. i wanted to choose one, but she kept moving the bag so i had to just pick any old candy. the entire uganda team reacted in the same way disrupting another child performance…”o come emanuel” on piano. evil eyes all around.
and into the adult realm–2 ladies with stringéd instruments of the violin variety with a fiddly-soft-christmas-medly.
this blogger would be moved if she had a soul, rather i’m enjoying my coffee crisp candy treat that i luckily pulled from the roving candy bag.
8:16p.m. a multiple adult number preparing at the moment…i have an inside scoop that its called “arms trade” also very mennonite. as i actaully want to see this talent, the update regarding said talent will come in a moment. the mystery builds…
8:24p.m. okay, well i feel misled. the song was really about the “magic number 3” which i think is really cult-ish. but can’t decide because if its really about JESUS or if its cult-tastic. the vote is out. however, the song was a crowd-pleaser.
there were three sets of two ladies each–one set, in the back, had their head covered with a blanket and stuck their arms under the arms of the middle group. these are the hands the audience sees. the second group is literally the face of the project and had their arms covered and were holding shoes (as if we couldn’t see their hands…) there was “dancing” by these random “bodies.” whoa.
8:27p.m. the honerary grandmother all (as she was introduced) sang rendition of “my favorite things” rewritten for old people. very amusing.
8:28p.m. MORE children on stage (its like people think they have talent or something? must be a mennonite thing…) but seriously, 3 darling young ladies singing christmas carols. adorable!
8:32p.m. and now they are performing a song with their own actions–its a song from “high school the musical 3”
8:34 p.m. ITS THE BOB AND JUDY SHOW! bob is doing magic, assisted by the lovely judy. this should be entertaining!
all of the children have been invited on stage… and i quote from bob, “this is audience participation because if it doesn’t work, it can be partially your fault.”
8:86 p.m. the look on judy’s face isn’t convincing me that bob will indeed be able to shove this salt shaker through the table… i myself am also skeptical…
8:37 p.m. well i’ll be a monkey’s auntie. he did it.
8:40 p.m. bob is making us sing. “da da da da da da da da ta da.” my poor female brain isn’t able to keep up… however, judy is REALLY into it!
i have no idea what bob is doing on stage… OH okay. so. well. i can’t describe that.
and for his third trick… he’s managed to pull a SCARF from an ACTUAL cap!
clap your hands tinkerbell… judy is going to hyperventilate forcing us to sing this song, and there is NO way i can describe what bob just did.
the last trick. this looks serious. the song is at a FEVER PITCH!! THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! ( i still have no idea what happened…and i’m concerned for judy’s vocal chords…)
8:42 p.m. and now for flute music. she’s decided to play a lullaby. if this blogger doesn’t return, you know what happened… lulled to sleep by the dulcet tones of kinda sharp flute music… (reality check- its quite pretty)
8:46- katie and amani (he’s… 7?) doing an adorable piece “sweet dream”. katie (the adult in the picture) singing and adorable adorable amani filling in the animal names as katie dances them. best!
8:48 p.m. wes adjusts his glasses for a…sermon. the subject for this evenings message, “little bo peep.” she’s lost her sheep. and this is TRAGIC.
8:49 p.m. preacher is getting worked up about bo peep. “if the sheep were lost and you couldn’t find them, you’d have to leave them alone, WOULDN’T you!”
the audience…er congregation…is getting into it. “preach it preacher” and “amen!” have been heard.
“pray tell what else they wagin? behind them? of course they may have come home in reverse, but i really don’t know… none the less, its in the book.”
“please open your books to page 222, lets live it up and sing, ‘do you remember grandma’s lye soap…’ ”
the congregation doesn’t seem to know this one…awkward silence. “and now we’ll sing the second verse. live it up! its not raining in here tonight.”
in the name of three bears, there’s a third verse…
8:55 p.m. mcc-tz “on stage for a short song”
a bongo-driven number lots of “hallelujahs” going on on stage. i wasn’t actually listening to the intro because i was watching this video (without sound) in the back with housemate and friends.
[here’s a fun fact about mcc-tz that i’ve observed: almost the entire team is made up of married couples (5) and ONE single person. sorry, dude.]
9:00 p.m. there is a family number up next; father and daughter duo. plus a drum. “you can dance to it if you wish” he says.
now he’s looking for dancers. pardon me as i hide under my chair…
9:07 p.m. chris is on stage. staring at his computer. “i have prepared a poem i will try to hold my poem as poetically as possible.” ‘the computer lab chicken’ based on a real chicken.
a dramatic movement of the laptop!
“do you want us to teach you how to use a computer”
and now from the atlas pose…
“computer lab chicken, what is your purpose? do you bring a message like poe’s raven? will you leave our doorstep ever more? are you a bouncer?”
“compute lab chicken i’m getting tired of you. tired of cleaning up after you. testing the limits by walking into our lab. though i think it is possible for us to live together in peace. i’m starting to wonder how you would taste…”
9:13 p.m. due to technical difficulties i wasn’t able to keep up with the two members of the kenya team who sang “what a friend we have in jesus” i believe in swahili. the best part of this was that the audience began humming along in fantastic harmony. delight. i have a video. you may see it in a year when i have internet fast enough to post it. so, remind me.
every time our mc arrives on stage she’s carrying a different child. each time this child is bigger… this time it was caleb. he’s 7? we in the back row are wondering if her husband will be next!
9:15 p.m. emm-ers with the masai playing a mazurka (chopin, maybe? thats my ear guessing). he’s on piano, she’s on violin. this is making me miss the central days and thursday morning recitals. (the good ones. okay, so…AMR, then.)
9:20 p.m. s, on the violin, tells us that while she was holding out the long note the twins (in womb) kicked her. the mc said its baby language for ‘encore’
9:21 p.m. there are 2 brothers on stage doing what i think will be brute strength to do… stuff. one’s in the rafters and one’s joining him. i should also mention, that they are grown men. i think all the mothers in the audience just had collective heart attacks…
9:26 p.m. the ethopian members of the ethopian team are sharing a dancy church song about dancing in the sanctuary in amharic . there is ululating going on in this room!
9:28 p.m. much to my distress i have to report that the m.c. hasn’t carried a child or a husband on the stage with her in the past two appearances…
she’s demanding that we all sing a song… the three sisters who sang from high school the musical to do an encore!
they are reluctant…but have decided to sing us another christmas song… hymnal pages flipping… whats the song???! the tension is killing me!
“silent night” it is! (and the audience has started humming again. we just can’t help ourselves…)
thus ends the 2010 mcc/emm talent show night! good night, good luck, and may you have menno-tastic dreams…