mzungu, bounty hunter

as a mzungu (that is to say, white person) i was recently accused of being “soft”.

i was quick to say that i do not condone the killing of other people, ever.
and it was pointed out to me that i refused to kill the rooster given to me in abim. (i think i went wrong naming him…he’s called bruiser, just so you know.)

i was quick to come back with, “but i kill on a regular basis!”

i was met with blinking eyes of disbelief.

“why, just last night” i said, “i probably killed 20 times.”

more blinking disbelief from my now growing audience.

one of the drivers who’d been around for the whole conversation said, “my sister… what, exactly, did you kill 20 of last night?”

he asked this with a mixture of excitement and disbelief in his voice.

i gave a snide little smile and said:
“what mzungus kill best, mosquitoes!”

[much laughter from audience and some slaps on my arms/back–this is a sign that you have said something truly funny]

the laughter subsided and then quietly, one of the women asked, “with what?”

she went on to explain that surely i killed these mosquitoes with a spray, or something else.

i wish i’d have a camera to capture the shock on her face when i said, “well, leah, with my hands of course!”

and then demonstrated clapping them together with a nonexistent mosquito in between them.

she just looked at me with big eyes and said, “mzungu hunter…can’t even eat what she kills…”


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